Rosie
looked out of hospital window trying to take in the news that the doctors had
just given her: - she was never going to walk again. SHE WAS NEVER GOING TO
WALK AGAIN. Seven simple words but at a stroke her life and her family’s life
had now changed forever.
How could
God be so unfair? If there was a God that is. She was going spend the rest of
her life in that damn wheelchair sitting by her bed. To say that she felt her
life was over was an understatement. It was the end of her world and everything
in it as far as she was concerned. She did not know how to go on with life
after receiving this devastating news.
As a
youngster Rosie was a child of the world. While other girls liked to do “girl
things” she just wanted to be like her brothers Lee and David.
She had no
time for wearing pretty frocks, jewellery or make-up as teenager. As a child
she had no time for dolls or their playhouses. She preferred her brother’s toy
cars and video games. She had little time for pyjama parties or “girl talk”
with other girls. She didn’t even have time for boyfriends or going to see boy
pop bands or read about the latest celeb gossip. Girly shopping was not one of
favourite her pastimes.
Like her
brothers she loved go-carting, fishing and riding her bike. She loved her jeans
and smudges on her white t-shirt. Her hair was cut into a short brown crop.
There was no way she would wear her hair long like the other sissy teenage age
girls at school. She loved to climb trees and go for a swim in the nearest
brook. She loved horse-riding. Outdoor life was always for her.
She loved
hanging around with her brother’s friends in their “secret hideout” by the
woods and playing cards. She loved to play football with her brothers.
Rosie was a
true tomboy to the fullest.
Her mother
use to say to, “Rosie I do wish you would be more of a girl”
Her dad use
to say, “I feel sometimes I have three sons instead of one daughter and two
sons!”
However her
family were loving and stable and they all lived in an Oxfordshire village on
their small farmstead.
Her parents
and brothers loved her unconditionally. All in all she had had a wonderful
childhood.
Rosie could
not wait to grow up fast. She wanted to be running athlete or at the very least
a P.E Sports Teacher. She couldn’t wait to travel the world and go backpacking.
She wanted to go canoeing in the Lake District, climbing in Mount Snowdonia
or go pony trekking in Ireland
As she
blossomed into teenage hood she felt she really could conquer the world. Her
whole life was ahead of her. And then suddenly at the age of 18 that terrible
accident had happened to her that would shatter all of her dreams in that one
terrible moment.
She was a
good driver. She use to ride her quad bikes with her brother around their
family farm and later when she passed her driving test in one go she was
absolutely thrilled.
On that
dark day she was travelling in her green Mini Metro (a birthday present from her
parents) waiting at a roundabout. Suddenly without warning a car had hit behind
her and all went black.
She later
found out that the other car had been speeding and when it hit her from behind,
her Mini smashed into the car in front. She had been badly injured and was in a
coma for a month.
After many
operations and her family’s support the doctors had given her the devastating
news: she was never going to walk again.
There would
be a police enquiry and the guy who had done this to her and family would
probably get a short jail term sentence and a heavy fine. But her family and she
had been given a life sentence. No she had
been given a life sentence and her dreams had been taken away from her. The
guy had shown remorse. He had written her endless letters and begged
forgiveness. He had wanted to see her and talk to her. His name was Chaim which
meant “new life”. How ironic. What life did she have to look forward to now?
She was in no mood to forgive or forget. She was an angry. Oh she was very,
very angry!!!
Today in
her hospital bedroom her mother had arranged Sally (a beautician and a family
friend) to come and see her. Her mother always believed that having a makeover
and doing “retail therapy” would lift a woman spirits. Rosie could not stand
all this “girly stuff” and fuss but she did not want to upset her mother
Sandra. Her mum was only doing what she thought was best and now that she could
not do what other normal able bodied people could do she might as well give
this makeover a try and do a bit of “retail therapy”.
Sally came
in. She looked bright and cheerful as always!!
“Hi Rosie.
I am here to help with your makeover. Nothing like having some beautiful
colours and shades on your beautiful skin and you have such a lovely
complexion”, said Sally
“I hope you
won’t make me look like a female clown”, said Rosie grumpily.
“No of course
I won’t. I am a professional and I am just using make-up to highlight your
already beautiful features. In no time at all you will have guys wanting to
date you”.
“What an
invalid like me?” said Rosie.
Sally
looked at the vase of flowers sitting besides Rosie’s bed. They were wonderful
arranged into a pretty bouquet.
“Pink roses
for our lovely Rosie eh?” said Sally.
Rosie
looked at them. She really hated her girly name and she certainly didn’t feel
“rosie” these days.
“My mum
arranged those flowers for me. She’s good at flower arranging. She does
flowering arranging for our local church. She wants me to learn this new skill. I think
now that she knows I can’t do anything with my useless legs I might as well do
something my hands. I am not artist. I want to be an athlete”, said Rosie
sadly.
“Ok I will
tell you what. Lets’ think positively ok? It’s not the end of the world.
Alright life is going to be different from now on but it’s not the end. When
God shuts the door, a window will always open.”
“Open a
window Sally? What window? Did you know in my dreams Sally I still see myself
walking?” said Rosie. “Sometimes I just want to wake up from this nightmare.
How can I be positive? I don’t think I even believe in God anymore. What did I
ever do to deserve this? I am never going to walk again”.
“I know
that my Rosie is fighter. I know she won’t give up”, said Sally. “This is the
little girl who once told me would love to wrestle with alligators. Now let’s
get your make-up on”.
With that
Sally began her work. Rosie did enjoyed being pampered in this way. Sally was
quick with her make-up brush and Rosie surprisingly enjoyed having her face
used as a canvas for Sally’s creative work. She gently touched Rosie’s cheek
with her make-up brush and mixed the different shades of make-up colours
together to create wonderful, warm colourful tones of pinks, browns and beige.
Rosie then
looked in the mirror and realised she did not look like a female clown at all.
In fact for the first time in her life she looked very feminine and she
surprising liked it! She liked the way the subtle colours seem to highlight her
cheekbones and the contours of her skin.
From then
on Sally would come into the hospital to put make-up on Rosie’s face and Rosie
looked forward to these visits and their afternoon chats. Later her mother
brought her books on flower arranging and she would go shopping with her mother
in her wheelchair. She never really done “retail therapy” that much with her
mother, but here again she now loved spending time with her mum trying on
different outfits, jewelleries, shoes and bags. She found it fun and found
fashion to be fun. She felt closer to her mother as she now felt closer to all
her family after her tragic accident.
Slowly
Rosie wanted to rethink her career. Her mother was right. Even though she could
not use her legs anymore, she could use her hands. So doing her daily physio
was given her upper body strength. But what could she do as a career and one
day Sally gave her the idea.
“I want to
be a make-up artist like you. I love it. I am developing a creative side and
feminine side that I have blocked out for years. I want to develop that. I want
to see where it will lead me. I still like doing “guy stuff” but I think I need
to accept I am a girl as well and there is no need for me to be ashamed of
that”.
“Of course
I will teach you! I can’t think of anything better and tonight I am going out
with the other girls from my salon. We are going out clubbing and I want you to
join us. Bloke pubs are fine but what we need is a “girl’s night out””, said
Sally.
Rosie
smiled. In time she learnt all about make-up artistry and she was good at it.
Also her hair began to grow out of its boyish crop and Rosie started to love
experimenting with different hairstyles and highlights. She took up art classes
and flower arranging classes and learnt to drive again. She felt that in the
darkness she could see a glimmer of hope. A glimmer of light. She felt she
could live her life again despite her disability. Sally had been right. Her
life was not over. It would be different for her and her family but it would be
a good life. She even began thinking of doing the other “tomboy” stuff again: -
like riding, swimming etc but she would have to relearn all of that as a person
with special needs. She would get her own flat, make- up business and go back
to college again. However this time she was acknowledging her feminine side as
well. She was young pretty woman and now she felt proud of that fact!
However as
much as she felt good about the future, she did wonder if men would be
interested in her. She did not care if guys liked her before and always assumed
she would marry a biker .But now she did care. Her family and friends said she
was beautiful and she knew that but would a man find her attractive now? She
also still felt great anger at the guy who had put her in this wheelchair.
She
received another letter from him. He was now out of jail and as predicted only
served a short sentence for diminished responsibility, paid a heavy fine and
was banned from driving for seven years. He said he needed to see her and that
he was “so very sorry”. He said he had been speeding with such madness that day
after he had lost everything: - his wife had left him and he was left with
nothing. His wife and her new lover had taken everything from him, their house,
money and cars. She had been having an affair. He also lost his job and felt
like his world had caved in after his divorce.
“Well at
least he doesn’t have to sit in a wheelchair for the rest of his life”, Rosie
told Sally.
“Why don’t
you see him? Just see what he has to say? I mean judging from his letters he
feels terrible guilt for what he did you and your family. He has lost
everything a lot as well”, said Sally.
“What? Am I meant to do forgive him? All
this stuff about him losing everything? It’s a joke. At lease he can start all
over again. At least he can walk!” said Rosie.
“This anger
is holding you back. Talk to him”, said Sally.
So Rosie
agreed to see Chaim. Their first meeting at her home felt so odd and cold. But
she discovered a man who had lost everything dear to him. He had also taken
responsibility for the accident and had shown guilt and remorse. He had been
suffering as much as her.
After his
first visit, Rosie asked him to come again. Soon he was visiting her often and
Rosie found they had a lot in common. He was gentleman at heart and knew how to
treat a woman properly. He was also handsome too. Soon she looked forward to
his visits and they grew close and became friends.
Then one
day he asked out on “a date” and for the first time in her life Rosie fell in
love and Chaim fell in love with her. His name “new life” really felt like
Rosie was beginning a new life. In time she was able to forgive him. She also
realised he loved her for her not because of her disability.
Ten years
after her accident Rosie’s life has changed beyond recognition. She is a
survivor as well as a fighter. She did
climb Mount Snowdonia ,
went canoeing in the Lake District and did go pony trekking in Ireland
She felt
that Sally was like her angel in her darkest hour who had given her HOPE and
that when God shuts a door he will always open a window.
By Subrata.
Saha.
30 -30 -30
